"In The Middle of Every Difficulty Lies Opportunity"

Life gets a little messy sometimes... a little hectic. Between finals, being deathly ill and the looming fact that in three weeks time I'll be flying to England to be reunited with the person who is arguably my soulmate, just in a girls body - needless to say, I've been swamped.

Originally, I'll be honest, I had no intention of making a blog post for a good while. I've been feeling sort of mucky lately, a bit lost, a bit confused. It's that hole in me, that something I always describe as being 'missing.' When I have these moments, it's nothing like being depressed or sad, etc. I go about my daily life normally, and am that calm, observant person I always am. The difference is, it's very easy for me to feel isolated; no one else understands, no one else feels the way I do. Apathetic.

Well, today, I decided to change my attitude.

Amy and I created this blog for those who are like us - the people who are spiritually searching, stumbling along the way, and unsure of themselves. If I feel this way, then who's to say that others don't too?

I've been wondering lately where my life's going, what I'm cut out for, and what I should be doing with my limited amount of time here. I have no more answers today than I had close to two weeks ago. I strive for the best, study situations in detail, and hope to come out on the other side a better person for it. At the end of the day, maybe that is all I am capable of doing right now. Maybe I'm not meant to have something that flies out of nowhere, hits me in the face, and says "Hey Ashton, wake up, it's time!" Maybe I'm never meant to find what it is I'm looking for.

Maybe what will mark my life... what will make me different, and unique, is that I am someone who never stops searching. A seeker.

If that is the truth of the matter, one day I'll come to terms with it. For now, all I can do is take one day at a time and continue hoping that whatever it is, is out there after all. To those of you reading who feel the same way or can relate to the words you are reading, I can't offer you very much, but one thing I can say in utter, total, complete certainty is: YOU ARE NOT A L O N E.

In love, light, and a stab at optimism,
Ashton