"In The Middle of Every Difficulty Lies Opportunity"

Life gets a little messy sometimes... a little hectic. Between finals, being deathly ill and the looming fact that in three weeks time I'll be flying to England to be reunited with the person who is arguably my soulmate, just in a girls body - needless to say, I've been swamped.

Originally, I'll be honest, I had no intention of making a blog post for a good while. I've been feeling sort of mucky lately, a bit lost, a bit confused. It's that hole in me, that something I always describe as being 'missing.' When I have these moments, it's nothing like being depressed or sad, etc. I go about my daily life normally, and am that calm, observant person I always am. The difference is, it's very easy for me to feel isolated; no one else understands, no one else feels the way I do. Apathetic.

Well, today, I decided to change my attitude.

Amy and I created this blog for those who are like us - the people who are spiritually searching, stumbling along the way, and unsure of themselves. If I feel this way, then who's to say that others don't too?

I've been wondering lately where my life's going, what I'm cut out for, and what I should be doing with my limited amount of time here. I have no more answers today than I had close to two weeks ago. I strive for the best, study situations in detail, and hope to come out on the other side a better person for it. At the end of the day, maybe that is all I am capable of doing right now. Maybe I'm not meant to have something that flies out of nowhere, hits me in the face, and says "Hey Ashton, wake up, it's time!" Maybe I'm never meant to find what it is I'm looking for.

Maybe what will mark my life... what will make me different, and unique, is that I am someone who never stops searching. A seeker.

If that is the truth of the matter, one day I'll come to terms with it. For now, all I can do is take one day at a time and continue hoping that whatever it is, is out there after all. To those of you reading who feel the same way or can relate to the words you are reading, I can't offer you very much, but one thing I can say in utter, total, complete certainty is: YOU ARE NOT A L O N E.

In love, light, and a stab at optimism,
Ashton

Who's life have you changed today?

So many words, so little time! Ashton and I are both fully aware that we've been slacking on the blog front - but everyone understands that life often has a mind of it's own. First big news - I can't express enough how excited I am to have Ashton fly over to England next month to stay with me until July!!! Bearing in mind we've spoken for a good few five years or so - meeting in person will be a whole other story. We'll be sure to try our best to keep you up to speed with how that's going.

But on with the actual focus of my post tonight - yesterday was quite honestly both a breakthrough and a craaazy day. I drove up to university in Cambridge to do some work for my many assignments (the joy of being a student), and had some time to kill. How better to kill time than to get yourself a psychic reading, right? There's an excellent little psychic shop stored away in the far corner of one of the shopping centres that I've always loved, but I've never had the time or confidence to actually get myself a reading. I've never had a reading in person - so honestly, this was unknown territory for me seeing as my only experience is being the reader never the readee - and that's only ever over the internet!

So I walked into the shop, and bought myself a 'Soul Reading' which was primarily a focus on myself and my path in life (very much needed at this moment in time, believe me), which is when the woman spoke up like, 'I knew you would pick that. I can tell you see as well, don't you?' Now this completely took me offguard, I had made the decision beforehand to keep it to myself that I had any idea I could have any of the talents she possesses, but apparently it's all in my aura. Purple, white, blue and silver. A fellow co-worker of hers at the same shop actually approached us like 'I was going to say, I can see it too!'. According to her, I have one of the largest and brightest auras she's ever seen (not trying to boast, or anything ;p...).

The reading itself was amazing. The focus actually turned out to be on my spirit guides, another very welcome topic that had needed light being shed on for far too long. I am aware of a few guides myself - but she actually picked up on FOUR. She claimed that everyone has a fair few guides, but even I have an abundance in them. Always nice to know, I admit! The first was a little street-boy from Dublin, Ireland (Victorian period), that I had never been aware of peviously - but the moment she started talking about him it completely resonated. I felt like I knew him, I could picture him and his personality. She didn't get a name but I did - Tommy. The second was another nameless guide, but a beautiful princess (yes, actual royalty! How insignificant does that make me feel huh?), a native American. Apparently she's drawn to me due to my girly things like make up and bath lotions - haha doesn't surprise me in the slightest! I however don't feel as attuned to her as I do Tommy. She said I needed to connect with the elements more, which is very true, so that could be the reason why.

The third was something that totally WOW-ed me. I'm not sure if I've mentioned her before, but around puberty I was aware of a little Victorian girl called Lucy who, like Tommy, I felt like I just knew. Turns out she is my healer guide, there to bring joy (funnily enough she made an appearance in my life when I was being bullied at school), and occasionally dips in and out of my life - it was really amazing to know I hadn't imagined her all those years ago!

The fourth is a striking woman who goes by the name of Violet Elizabeth, and she is my 'main guide' if we even have such a thing (which I'm not sure we do). I have a LOT in common with her, a heck of a lot, so much so I won't go into it right now. But again, she resonated with me although not as much as Tommy and Lucy did (turns out I'm most drawn to young children).

Aside from all of my guides whom I still have yet to make proper contact with (Violet did make a few comments apparently about me ignoring her, hm?), the woman doing the reading for me would not stop mentioning how I really have a LOT of potential. Apparently if I do anything in life, I have to develop my mediumship? She said that all my guides are jittery with excitment because I'm due, in future, to publish a widely famous and successful book about my spiritual journey (WHAT)? She then insisted I allowed her to mentor me, to join her development circle at a nearby spiritualist church, because she sees me progressing very quickly and helping so many people in my future thanks to my gifts and abilities.

I said an all round resounding YES, of course, despite my confusion and blank look. It was completely out of the blue, I had never gone expecting her to pick up on any of my abilities or potential - yet it was ALL she could talk about? I must say, it was an amazing feeling to have the first few psychic people I come into contact with - tell me they're a little intimidated by my 'talent' and have it be the first thing they notice about me, I had been wondering if it would be different with people in person or whatever. My life has always run on a parallel track to anything spiritual or psychic - so to have it all come crashing together in the space of a day completely swept me off my feet.

I went to her development circle, despite the butterflies trying to eat their way through the pit of my stomach of course, and it actually went really well! When I came away from it she was telling me how talented I was and how proud, considering I was doing the things that people who have been going for years could do.

But my main point, throughout all of this, is that she managed to completely change my life just within that one hour I had spontaneously turned up for. By telling me, before knowing anything about me, that she could see how 'powerful' I was, and how much potential I had - it's switched up my view completely. In a way I feel prepared? But the ONE thing that is sticking with me - is the fact that I'm due to help people in life. Thanks to my empathy and abilities, I'm going to help many people and touch upon their lives. This is where the real gift comes from, for me. It's not in the abilities or powerful talents one might have - it's the intention, and the fact I have what it takes to actually HELP people. I've always been a very strong-feeling empath and sensitive - I mean when Ashton and I created this blog I kept repeating how I wish to help people in the same position as us - but being told that I have the means to do that and that I will, in fact, do that. It's amazing.

The one woman completely changed my life within an hour.
I wonder how many people's lives I could change within a life-time?

As always,

In Love & Light,

Amy