"In The Middle of Every Difficulty Lies Opportunity"

Life gets a little messy sometimes... a little hectic. Between finals, being deathly ill and the looming fact that in three weeks time I'll be flying to England to be reunited with the person who is arguably my soulmate, just in a girls body - needless to say, I've been swamped.

Originally, I'll be honest, I had no intention of making a blog post for a good while. I've been feeling sort of mucky lately, a bit lost, a bit confused. It's that hole in me, that something I always describe as being 'missing.' When I have these moments, it's nothing like being depressed or sad, etc. I go about my daily life normally, and am that calm, observant person I always am. The difference is, it's very easy for me to feel isolated; no one else understands, no one else feels the way I do. Apathetic.

Well, today, I decided to change my attitude.

Amy and I created this blog for those who are like us - the people who are spiritually searching, stumbling along the way, and unsure of themselves. If I feel this way, then who's to say that others don't too?

I've been wondering lately where my life's going, what I'm cut out for, and what I should be doing with my limited amount of time here. I have no more answers today than I had close to two weeks ago. I strive for the best, study situations in detail, and hope to come out on the other side a better person for it. At the end of the day, maybe that is all I am capable of doing right now. Maybe I'm not meant to have something that flies out of nowhere, hits me in the face, and says "Hey Ashton, wake up, it's time!" Maybe I'm never meant to find what it is I'm looking for.

Maybe what will mark my life... what will make me different, and unique, is that I am someone who never stops searching. A seeker.

If that is the truth of the matter, one day I'll come to terms with it. For now, all I can do is take one day at a time and continue hoping that whatever it is, is out there after all. To those of you reading who feel the same way or can relate to the words you are reading, I can't offer you very much, but one thing I can say in utter, total, complete certainty is: YOU ARE NOT A L O N E.

In love, light, and a stab at optimism,
Ashton

Who's life have you changed today?

So many words, so little time! Ashton and I are both fully aware that we've been slacking on the blog front - but everyone understands that life often has a mind of it's own. First big news - I can't express enough how excited I am to have Ashton fly over to England next month to stay with me until July!!! Bearing in mind we've spoken for a good few five years or so - meeting in person will be a whole other story. We'll be sure to try our best to keep you up to speed with how that's going.

But on with the actual focus of my post tonight - yesterday was quite honestly both a breakthrough and a craaazy day. I drove up to university in Cambridge to do some work for my many assignments (the joy of being a student), and had some time to kill. How better to kill time than to get yourself a psychic reading, right? There's an excellent little psychic shop stored away in the far corner of one of the shopping centres that I've always loved, but I've never had the time or confidence to actually get myself a reading. I've never had a reading in person - so honestly, this was unknown territory for me seeing as my only experience is being the reader never the readee - and that's only ever over the internet!

So I walked into the shop, and bought myself a 'Soul Reading' which was primarily a focus on myself and my path in life (very much needed at this moment in time, believe me), which is when the woman spoke up like, 'I knew you would pick that. I can tell you see as well, don't you?' Now this completely took me offguard, I had made the decision beforehand to keep it to myself that I had any idea I could have any of the talents she possesses, but apparently it's all in my aura. Purple, white, blue and silver. A fellow co-worker of hers at the same shop actually approached us like 'I was going to say, I can see it too!'. According to her, I have one of the largest and brightest auras she's ever seen (not trying to boast, or anything ;p...).

The reading itself was amazing. The focus actually turned out to be on my spirit guides, another very welcome topic that had needed light being shed on for far too long. I am aware of a few guides myself - but she actually picked up on FOUR. She claimed that everyone has a fair few guides, but even I have an abundance in them. Always nice to know, I admit! The first was a little street-boy from Dublin, Ireland (Victorian period), that I had never been aware of peviously - but the moment she started talking about him it completely resonated. I felt like I knew him, I could picture him and his personality. She didn't get a name but I did - Tommy. The second was another nameless guide, but a beautiful princess (yes, actual royalty! How insignificant does that make me feel huh?), a native American. Apparently she's drawn to me due to my girly things like make up and bath lotions - haha doesn't surprise me in the slightest! I however don't feel as attuned to her as I do Tommy. She said I needed to connect with the elements more, which is very true, so that could be the reason why.

The third was something that totally WOW-ed me. I'm not sure if I've mentioned her before, but around puberty I was aware of a little Victorian girl called Lucy who, like Tommy, I felt like I just knew. Turns out she is my healer guide, there to bring joy (funnily enough she made an appearance in my life when I was being bullied at school), and occasionally dips in and out of my life - it was really amazing to know I hadn't imagined her all those years ago!

The fourth is a striking woman who goes by the name of Violet Elizabeth, and she is my 'main guide' if we even have such a thing (which I'm not sure we do). I have a LOT in common with her, a heck of a lot, so much so I won't go into it right now. But again, she resonated with me although not as much as Tommy and Lucy did (turns out I'm most drawn to young children).

Aside from all of my guides whom I still have yet to make proper contact with (Violet did make a few comments apparently about me ignoring her, hm?), the woman doing the reading for me would not stop mentioning how I really have a LOT of potential. Apparently if I do anything in life, I have to develop my mediumship? She said that all my guides are jittery with excitment because I'm due, in future, to publish a widely famous and successful book about my spiritual journey (WHAT)? She then insisted I allowed her to mentor me, to join her development circle at a nearby spiritualist church, because she sees me progressing very quickly and helping so many people in my future thanks to my gifts and abilities.

I said an all round resounding YES, of course, despite my confusion and blank look. It was completely out of the blue, I had never gone expecting her to pick up on any of my abilities or potential - yet it was ALL she could talk about? I must say, it was an amazing feeling to have the first few psychic people I come into contact with - tell me they're a little intimidated by my 'talent' and have it be the first thing they notice about me, I had been wondering if it would be different with people in person or whatever. My life has always run on a parallel track to anything spiritual or psychic - so to have it all come crashing together in the space of a day completely swept me off my feet.

I went to her development circle, despite the butterflies trying to eat their way through the pit of my stomach of course, and it actually went really well! When I came away from it she was telling me how talented I was and how proud, considering I was doing the things that people who have been going for years could do.

But my main point, throughout all of this, is that she managed to completely change my life just within that one hour I had spontaneously turned up for. By telling me, before knowing anything about me, that she could see how 'powerful' I was, and how much potential I had - it's switched up my view completely. In a way I feel prepared? But the ONE thing that is sticking with me - is the fact that I'm due to help people in life. Thanks to my empathy and abilities, I'm going to help many people and touch upon their lives. This is where the real gift comes from, for me. It's not in the abilities or powerful talents one might have - it's the intention, and the fact I have what it takes to actually HELP people. I've always been a very strong-feeling empath and sensitive - I mean when Ashton and I created this blog I kept repeating how I wish to help people in the same position as us - but being told that I have the means to do that and that I will, in fact, do that. It's amazing.

The one woman completely changed my life within an hour.
I wonder how many people's lives I could change within a life-time?

As always,

In Love & Light,

Amy

"Happiness is a journey"

Hello everyone, it is a beautiful morning in Friendswood, Texas. I apologize for the lack of posts lately, both Amy and I have been very busy between the Free Readings and school work piling up, as always at the most inconvenient times. The video I posted above is called Human by The Killers - they are one of my favorite bands, and I love the sound of this song and the album it is on in the morning. I don't know about the rest of you, but music is pretty much essential in my life. My music is almost always a representation of the mood I am in, and absolutely the muse for the stories I am always creating in my mind. I hope you all enjoy this song as much as I do.

On an off note, I feel I am really making progress as of recently - I've mentioned earlier that I am an Emotional Empath, alongside the fact that I am the type that has turned her empathy off due to the overwhelming emotions humans are always experiencing. As such, I almost have opposite symptoms of most Empaths... up until this point in my life, I've generally 'repelled' people so to speak, in the sense that I project the fact that I am very closed off. The only time my Empathy ever strongly effected me was in the presence of animals, or stumbling across a sad news story. All of that being said, I've tried lately to turn 'on' my Empathy, and have realized it's sort of like a switch I can flick. The past few days, I've had strangers of all different types talk to me, say nice things, randomly start telling me their life stories, or asking for advice.

As much as I had expected all of these things to make me severely uncomfortable (I've always considered myself a chronic loner/hermit, say for my spare few friends and family), they didn't. This has really been a turning point for me - I feel universally connected, more so than ever. I sense that this is what was necessary to continue my journey to discovering who I am and what I'm meant to do while on this earth. 

Whereas the old Ashton would have turn and ran in fear of such a prospect, I have made a conscious decision to embody Strength; to stare fear in the eyes and conquer the beast inside through compassion and gentle, flowing, never-ending patience.

Bright Blessings,

Ashton

Love Thy Neighbor

Last weekend, my Red Cross Group and I went out to a local grocery store, and stood from 8 in the morning until 6 in the evening asking for donations to give to Japan during this time of crisis. At the end of the day, just a few other kids -my age- and I, managed to raise over 1500 dollars to send to Japan; if a few kids from Texas can make a difference, you and anyone reading this certainly can.

Text "Red Cross" to 90999 to make a 10$ donation. Trust me when I say, every little bit helps.

I'll leave you all now with a quote... (his last name is wicked awesome.)

"Lend a hand to those who are frightened, lonely, or burdened. If we could look into each others hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us face, I think we could treat each other much much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care."

-Marvin J. Ashton

Love, light, and prayers,
Ashton

Super Moon!

S U P E R  M O O N  T O N I G H T !

If you're in America and reading this right now, then there's a good chance that night hasn't fallen yet. But when about 8pm rolls around - try to make a note to look up into the sky and look at the moon - it sure won't be hard to miss tonight. They say it's the first time in 18 years that the moon has been so close to the Earth - and boy oh boy does it look huge!

So not a night goes by in which I don't spend a few brief moments to check out the moon. I don't know what it is about that big, random, ball of light of a planet that lures me in - but there's just something almost hypnotising about it. I also spend a few moments to evaluate it's aura from night to night - some nights it's pink, other's it's green, blue or purple. Anyone else know what I'm talking about when I talk about the moon's aura? When I turn to Joe, my partner, and ask him if he can see it - he fixes me with a blank look and simply shrugs his shoulders.

I suppose this gives me the same kind of feeling as being able to see energy in the air, does. When I ask others if they notice these small almost glitter-like specs flowing around everything throughout the air, they think I'm crazy. Probably within good reason - I don't blame them. But especially in the light, the air is always shifting and vibrating. They say it's the key to being able to successfully read people's auras - their life forces - but I don't think it's true. With enough practise I believe anyone can see auras, it just so happens I'm lucky enough to have an easy way into perfecting this technique. I actually remember the first time I saw an aura - it was ironically enough when auras were the last thing on my mind, at a Maroon 5 concert. Bright halo-type shapes started materialising around people's heads if I looked close enough and unfocused my eyes; different colours and different shades each time. It was a surreal moment. Only recently have I seen an aura take on a full shape - a mass of green cloud cloaking someone from head to toe. Again, I wasn't trying. I was sitting in a university lecture probably counting the seconds away until I could go home and curl up in bed!

Anyway - back to the subject at hand! With this 'moon aura' thing... I'm sure there's a logical explanation. Probably a glare or reflection from looking at a source of light head-on, perhaps - and I could look it up to find out.

But do you know what?

As I look up tonight and see the yellow 'aura' surrounding the moon, and observe each and every crater covering it's face - I don't want to. Sometimes it's better to create our own fantasies in a world that doesn't make sense, because if it did, where would imagination come from?

Love and light,

Amy

12 FREE TAROT READINGS ON OFFER!

Hey there folks!

Happy days - Amy and Ashton are offering two readings of each spread which equates to 12 completely free readings! All we ask of in return is for you to complete a feedback form for us, and have patience considering it may take quite a while to get through all of the readings.

Simply send an email to: pixieandpea@email.com ASAP because once we're past 12 people, that's it! Plus the higher up on the list you are, the more likely you are to get the reading of your choice.

The list is as follows:
1). Miguel
2). Joe
3). Carla
4). Momo
5). Dili
6). Jean
7). Natalie
8). Yan
9). Yolanda
10). Barbara
11). Janey
12). Monica

Thanks in advance! :)

Bright blessings,

Amy & Ashton.

"The very things that hold you down, are going to lift you up."

'You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life.'
- The Lion King

Well, the cat's out the bag. You've probably guessed by now that all the Disney quotes that litter our blog are the result of a combination of my ponderings, and obsession with the old Disney films. But in all seriousness - if there's anything I've learnt from this entire experience it's that sometimes you need to be willing to take a step back, in order to move forward. Before I begin on the mammoth of what I'm sure will turn out to be an essay of a few, brief, psychic 'happenings' up to this date - I just want to say that my story isn't as light-hearted as Ashton's. I haven't been slowly eased into everything as gradually as Ashton despite the fact that evidence of my abilities do run back to my childhood. In fact, the main focus of this post will be on my childhood and early teenage years - somehow makes all the Disney quotes a little more fitting, no?

Wow, it really is hard to know where to start when you actually sit down to get all these things down. I guess to start off simple - I have always been absolutely obsessed with anything supernatural. As a child I was too curious for my own good, sitting up until the early hours of the morning googling 'ghost photos', stories, alien encounters - I even dragged out all of my mother's ancient 'Unexplained Mysteries' books that would be falling apart at the seams due to their age and mis-use. It's difficult to say where things started getting weird or unusual, because you'll come to learn that most of my abilities have been there and active for as long as I can remember. But similar to Ashton - I would often bring up topics of conversation that weren't suited to a 13 year old girly sleepover; my favourites would be, 'What happens when we die? Is it just like, constant darkness - nothing. Or do we slip into an eternal dream so you're basically asleep forever?', and then another string of thought that would often end up freaking even myself out - 'What's beyond space, and our universe?'. I can tell you now that I wasn't always a hit with my friends because of this.

It was as if it was part of my DNA structure to question everything. I wanted to know the mechanisms behind everything - how is it possible for an airplane to fly, really, when you think about it? (if anyone can explain this to me in a way that I'll understand, I promise to give you a free reading of your choice!). How did we even get here - living organisms, on a rogue planet that came to be named Earth? Who discovered that if you throw certain ingredients together in a specific way - you can make something, like... bread? When was bread even invented!? I'll probably publish a post at some point with a whole list of these meaningless ponderings, simply because I could go on for hours. But the basic idea is that I longed to look past the initial 'mask' of something and get behind the real meaning for it. At times it completely dominated my thoughts. But although I longed to discover this 'thing' or 'world' that was missing in my life, I never had the slightest inclination that I was supposed to be a part of it.

Now what I'm going to do here is try to explain everything to you in a way that you'll understand. I'm not going to list things in chronological order, because I promise you that there's too much that even I can't make sense of yet - but starting with a thing that just happened and isn't related to the reading I got from Jenny - tarot. It was... about 6 months ago now actually, whilst I was staying in student accomodation up at my university. My course hadn't started yet, so I had plenty of time to explore the city (Cambridge) with my partner, get to grips with my surroundings and all. We stumbled upon a little market square, with just about every stall you can imagine - and almost instantly I spotted a 'Wiccan' stall I suppose you could say - gemstones, amulets, books, and pendulums, amongst many other cute little things that caught my eye. I was browsing and decided to buy a set of Ancient Eqyptian Amulets (love anything Ancient Egyptian), never having my own before. My gran had often thrusted various gemstones upon me before - 'rose quartz, promotes healing' - 'carnelian, will help with your confidence' - so I was vaguely aware of the stones and their properties. Now what happened next I, or anyone else I've told, have no explanation for. But as the woman was packaging up my Amulets, a tarot deck fell on top of her head. Of course you can see the amusement in the situation, but only with hindsight seeing as at the time we were all at a loss of what had happened. There were no decks, nor shelves, or anywhere for anything to have fallen from - so it appeared as if the cards had materialised from thin air. We all shrugged it off and went on our way - but as I look back at it now I wonder if it was one of my spirit guides pointing me in the right direction?

I went back a couple of days later and bought the Cosmic deck from the market stall. Turned out that the single deck to have caught my eye, just happened to be the deck that Ashton had been meaning to buy for a while.

I've been reading ever since, and even from the onset and my very early readings - I have a weird way of just 'knowing' something when shuffling the cards. People would often remark upon how I couldn't have possibly been so accurate with a couple of tarot cards - my reply used to be to joke that I'm psychic. Ha, ironic right? What's more is that I have only recently learnt that psychic abilities run in the family! My great, great grandmother - Mary Elizabeth Evans - was a famous psychic of her time. People used ot come to her for healing apparently - which tells me that it's not only her name that I inherited (the Elizabeth part, of course). Jenny said that not only do I have great potential to heal - but in a past life I was a great healer of whom people used to come to for help, seeing quite a few parallels between me and my dear great, great gran hey? Ashton also experienced a past life regression of which involved me being a healer which I'm sure she'll post at some point.

One of the first things Jenny brought out was that I was a clairvoyant. I had a subtle understanding of what this meant - though upon researching I realised that it wasn't quite what I thought. I thought that being a clairvoyant was the same thing as being a medium - when although similar - they aren't. Clairvoyant literally means 'clear seeing', and it's the ability to inwardly see events or symbols, people or sometimes even emotions - with your third eye otherwise known as the 6th chakra. It's probably my strongest ability I've come to learn - although I still have a little difficulty deciphering whether what I'm seeing is set in the past, present, or future. Although not exactly the same as mediumship - it does possess the ability to 'see' spirits depending upon your vibration. I have done this only a few times with real success; it's not something that's easy to control, you can't decide who does and doesn't come through.

Which is why I'm going to take a large jump into the past - starting at about age 6. I have always seen things clairvoyantly, for as long as I can remember, without realising it was anything different to what other people experience. As I grew up I shrugged it off to be an overreactive imagination - which is a pretty good explanation in all honesty, there's rarely a moment in which I'm not immersed by my own thoughts or I'm not creating a whole new plot for a story I try to remember to write. These visions varied in intensity - sometimes they would be gentle and slow, a bit blurry but not so different to your every day imagination. At other times they would be so sudden and sharp ('loud' I like to say) that I would literally be stopped in my tracks and forget what it was I had been doing beforehand. I never stopped to question how it could possibly be my imagination when these things that would pop into my head were simply so random - these faces I'd see were of people I've never seen yet have so much detail - why, in the middle of feeding the cats, would my brain decide to cook up the plot of a man named Fred who lived alone a few streets away - having a heart attack in a few weeks? I couldn't tell you whether many of these things came true or not because they happened on a day-to-day basis, and like I said, I never took the care to remember them or make note of it. But I treated them exactly like plot-lines. These people I would see would fuel my creativity for a new character I'd make up in my next story idea - I sometimes wonder if it's because of my clairvoyance that I have such a good imagination and creative spark.

An ability that comes hand in hand with my clairvoyance, is my clairaudience. Now when I heard of this my brain drew up blanks - never before had I heard of clairaudience or clairsentience. Clairaudience means 'clear hearing', and clairsentience is the ability to simply sense or know something. The clairsentience is a trial and error kind of experience for me at the moment - it's something that I know I can tap into, but not at the forefront of my mind like Ashton. It only ever really comes out to play when I do a tarot reading, when I simply 'know' that this specific event is going to happen in 5 weeks time, or that so and so is keeping a secret. The clairaudience however is another ability that has been with me for as long as I can remember.

Like my clairvoyant visions, I had passed certain things I would hear clairaudiently off as my imagination. Especially in bed, before I fell asleep, I would hear certain phrases or snippets of conversations inside of my head - always in someone else's voice. I know, it sounds crazy to admit on a blog that 'I hear voices inside my mind' - but in all truth I really did, and still do! I always figured that it was my brain shutting down to sleep, or just me going over certain things I'd heard that day (although the voices were never ones I recognised). Nothing the voices ever said would make sense to me anyway, and I would forget them by morning. But it was when the voices started directing me in particular, that the ball got rolling.

I must have been about age 8 when this first started happening - I know this because it was the beginning of what turned out to be about 10 years of complete torture for me.

I'd be lying in bed, on one side, when a voice would whisper into my ear - always calling my name. At times it would be gentle and more just demanding my attention - at others, it would be angry or urgent. I could never work out who the voice belonged to as it sounded as if was a young child, so the gender wasn't so easy to specify. But the moment I'd hear this voice a wave of chills would ripple up and down my body, and I'd be on 'high alert', fear completely striking me still. I suppose this was what begun my obsession with discovering as much about 'ghosts' as possible. I would go into primary school and tell all my friends how my house was haunted - I'd hear voices at night, and people walking around in my room. I'd constantly feel watched, and the feeling was never pleasant. The funny thing was that none of this happened to any other members of my family living in the house - they thought I'd been watching too much TV or spent too long on the internet, and dismissed me as going through a 'phase'. I would have friends around however, and the same things would happen in their company so I was absolutely certain it was not just me by the age of about 12 - something weird was going on, and I'd come to decide that it was me that was haunted, not the house.

The same things would follow me everywhere I went - school, holidays, other people's houses. It never left me alone and it only intensified over the years. By the age of about 13, things had reached a peak.

I must have seen automatic writing being done on a TV show somewhere and picked it up from there, but somehow it caught on. I remember trying it out for the first time with a few friends who lived on the same road as me - and immediately I got replies in the neatest calligraphy I'd ever seen. I didn't know how to write in calligraphy, so it freaked us out enough for me to put the pen down and throw away the paper. Maybe some things just weren't to be messed around with, after all. But of course my curiosity got in the way as it did with most things besides common sense - and I started practising by myself in the quiet of my room.

I'm not sure when a constant connection was established, but every time I got the paper out I would find myself talking to the same spirit - a Victorian girl called Lucy. I think I recall her saying she was 11 years old. Sometimes she would say that her mother, Mary, would hang around too. I learnt that they had both died in a fire. I had some wind chimes in my bedroom and would ask her to ring them when she was present, to which she replied that she's always there, she goes everywhere I do, and she's always watching. Even still, sometimes the wind chimes would ring without a breeze to move them and I would instantly feel at peace. Sometimes she would monitor as she allowed other spirits through to speak to me - I think I once, briefly, spoke to my grandad of whom had died before my birth - and a few others who never really said anything that made sense to me. For a while, the 'bad things' slowed to a stop when Lucy was around - I was being bullied at school because of the fact I didn't trust my gut and keep quiet about it all, but what can you do? I didn't mind all too much. My mum occasionally found these pieces of paper with our conversations on and would go crazy at me - throwing the papers away and ordering me to stop it all at once. I couldn't understand what her problem is - but I learnt to communicate with Lucy without the usual paper and pen - somehow I devised a technique in which I would internally ask a question and touch the forefinger of my right hand to my left palm; the moment my finger and palm made contact I would know the answer to my question, thus it was a sneaky way around keeping it on the low and being able to talk at all times without being discovered. And I would just like to point out that I had never heard, nor had any understanding, of what a spirit guide was at this point in my life.

Of course I understand now, when I look back, why my mother got so angry about it. And she had good reason to.

I think I was about aged 15 when the 'bad things' returned, with added effect. Lucy used to tell me to make sure I say 'Goodbye' at the end of every conversation to close to connection, and rip up the paper if it was a conversation with anyone else. She also said that if I got a sideways '8' as an answer (I've come to learn that it's the sign for eternity, so I have no idea what this means?), then I would instantly know that it isn't her talking but someone else impersonating her, or a 'demon' she used to say. Well I must have accidentally let one of these 'lower spirits' through one day, because I found myself talking to someone who called themselves Red, and sometimes Silver/Sliver. I got the sense that he was a man around his mid 50's, which was new to me considering I had only ever been able to picture Lucy as a yellow ball of light before. Anyway when he made an appearance, my life literally became hell. I got no sleep out of fear, my appetite vanished, my general mood overall. I was being stalked, I knew it.

One day I decided that it was enough, I couldn't live like this, and I shut off all communication altogether. No more Lucy, no more anything. I figured I was either completely crazy by this point, or something much more serious was happening. Either way I didn't want it anymore - I wanted nothing to do with ghosts or the supernatural anymore. I decided to return to reality and try to get on with life the best I could - and it actually worked. My life was normal, I was consumed by school work and deadlines, family, most of all my writing - and the freaky or scary things stopped altogether.

But of course life is never that easy for anyone, let alone if you're psychic, and I soon discovered this.

Although all of the supernatural stuff had been long forgotten by the age of 17, literally, I only remember half of this stuff through doing research recently, another one of my 'gifts' began acting up. Jenny pointed out how I was an empath in many areas - namely a Faerie empath. I still don't really know what a Faerie empath is supposed to be to this day - so if anyone has any information it's greatly appreciated - but she mentioned something about how I used to talk to them which struck a chord. I don't remember much because I was obviously quite young - but I do remember going through one of the many 'phases' my parents have weighed upon me, and that phase was fairies. I was convinced we had fairies living in the garden, outside in the road - on the school field! I remember a young school friend used to claim that a couple of fairies lived in a certain alcove in the trees on our school field - and she was horribly bullied for it of course. I now wonder if she had more of an understanding on this topic than I did or still do.

But empathy is the ability to sense the emotions of others, we feel on a completely different level and are incredibly sensitive. Now I match up to so many of the traits that I had suspected I was an empath before Jenny had confirmed so in my reading, and I won't go on about all the many experiences I've had regarding my empathy. But they say that empaths can go be one of two extremes - the first being the type to shy away from emotion because of the fact that it's too painful to bear. The result is that they're a little more withdrawn than they should be, and study people from afar. Ashton fits neatly into this category, and with my help she is learning to open up more. The second type are the opposite - they're too open, too vulnerable to emotional attacks and too aware or tuned in. I fit into this category, and Ashton is ccurrently helping me ground myself more. It seems that we only differ in our psychic abilities, I wonder why?

Anyway around age 17 I fell into a sudden, severe depression. It could be manic at times - the most intense emotions I pick up on are excitement and anger. I would find myself completely ecstatic one moment and something will click and I'd realise I have nothing to be excited over? At other times I was so consumed with a white hot rage that many relationships around me were gradually being broken down. I would just like to take this chance to send a big thank you on out to my partner for the role he played during this - he was amazing, the only constant in my life and there throughout thick and thin to support me. He urged me to go into therapy/counselling seeing as I refused to go onto medication beause I would constantly argue that 'I'm not depressed. These feelings don't feel like mine...' without really knowing what it was I was talking about (at this point I had no idea empathy existed). Although the therapy turned out to be a waste of time - I was left with one piece of advice that has stuck with me: 'It seems as if you've left something behind. You're in despair because you long for something that was lost in your childhood? I suggest you take a look back and try to remember what made you so happy in this time and what's missing now.' That was the last session I turned up to, but it's stuck ever since.

Anyway there are two theories that Ashton and I share about this depression. On one hand I would argue that it's my empathy - my link to the supernatural served as a kind of grounding mechanism when Lucy was around, so it wasn't overtly significant or prominant. On the other - when I let that 'Red' or 'Silver' or 'Sliver' spirit in, he was of a lower vibration. I underwent a near-death experience around the time before things got really bad, and it's said they latch onto vulnerable people through this and start influencing them negatively. But the third theory that I have devised and I would like to believe - is a mixture of the first and the idea that I was missing a vital part of myself. Anything psychic grounds me, I have learnt now, and by shutting away a whole part of who I was and what made me happy - it had drastic consequences. My depression only faded around the time I discovered tarot - just a coincidence?

If you take another look back at that Lion King quote, I think you'll now understand what it means to me.



"There's a great big hunk of world down there with no fences around it.  Where two dogs can find adventure and excitement.  And beyond those distant hills, who knows what wonderful experiences.  And it's all ours for the taking, Pidge. All ours."
 - Lady and the Tramp

In love and light,

Amy.